Sometimes you have to state the absolutely bleeding obvious for quite a long time before you get heard. Women’s suffrage in Switzerland, for instance.
And now, nice clothes with sleeves.
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Most dresses and tops on sale in Britain in winter have short sleeves — a hangover, I suspect, from the days when we would have been doing the laundry with a bucket and mangle.
Those days may have long gone, but the short sleeves have stuck, which is why we as a nation are obsessed with cardigans. But a long-sleeve top, or long-sleeve dress — if you can find one — looks much smarter and more elegant than a nice dress with a cardie over it.
Mad Men fashion has a lot to answer for. The clothes in Mad Men are fabulous; no one’s arguing with that. But there are a lot of women out there channelling Mad Men and getting it wrong.
Prime suspect is the woman wearing a pencil skirt to the knee with a pair of kitten heels. You can wear kitten heels with a pencil skirt, but the skirt needs to be a little longer than most, finishing below rather than on the knee.
Alternatively, you can wear the kitten heel with a neat waisted, full-skirted shape. Either way, wear a neat top with a good bra and do your hair properly.
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If you are a vain idiot like me, this one purchase will change your life. I promise. My flat boots are shearling with a furry lining and they are Jimmy Choo so I’m not even going to tell you how much they cost because I can’t deal with all the haters.
But I stand by them. You won’t regret it. Sorry, but are you 12? Right then, take that parka off and get yourself a proper coat. Yes, you are quite right, there was a point last year when Kate Moss and Alexa Chung and suchlike wore parkas instead of proper coats and got heaps of adoring column inches for it.
But, firstly, they mostly wore them with Chanel mini-dresses and baby giraffe legs, which not all of us have, and secondly, that was last yearpeople!
This year, get a proper coat. This does not have to mean an expensive coat. It means a grown-up coat that doesn’t make you look like a slobby fourth former on a field trip.
How irritating it is when people affect an aloof faux-bafflement in the face of the modern world. Well, here’s another thing for them to get all prissy about.
Leopard, which used to be a kind of vampy slutty brassy landlady look, is now mainstream chic.
The new version of double denim, a badge of honour for fashion’s daredevils, is double leopard; you have to have a certain panache not to look cheesy, but that’s the whole point.
If you’re still making “grrr” jokes when faced with a leopard-print dress, get with the programme, grandpa.
Right now, a simple pair of black or charcoal trousers is a hot ticket fashion item. Obviously, if you are a trouser girl you don’t actually need a signed permission slip from the Paris fashion week powers-that-be to wear them, but the fashionability is still relevant.
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Firstly, because in fashion, trickle-down theory really does work, which means there are currently great trousers to be had on the high street, so you may as well take advantage, or you will kick yourself when your favourite pair falls apart in six months’ time and the shops are full of calf-length skirts.
Secondly, because if you can basically wear what you always wear and look like you’re working a catwalk look, that’s an easy win, no?
There, I’ve said it.
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Because truly, what’s the point? They are silly. Just silly. Plus, anyone who would actually be impressed by the fact that you are wearing a cape is a bit of a prat.
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Yes, superheroes wear capes, but usually they wear them for flying. Can you fly? Take it off. And I don’t just mean about not letting them ping off and fall all over the floor, although that is an issue.
I mean, be aware that sequins have gone from unusual to ironic glamour to overkill in the past two or three years.
Same goes for fake fur. With so much razzle-dazzle around, you want to avoid looking like the oldest chorus girl in town.
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Best modernising trick for sequins and fake fur is to dress them down. So take your sequined top out of your Night Out section and layer it under a cardigan for a weekend lunch.
Clothes with a strong narrative are brilliant in magazine shoots, where the whole point is to create a compelling backstory for the bland teenage twiglet who is wearing the clothes.
But here’s the thing: you have a backstory already. It’s called your life. Channelling a bossy-but-brave-war-hero thing is distracting and confusing.
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Military fashion has its uses: soldiers need coats that do up securely and are waterproof, which are useful coat-properties. But don’t get carried away.
To me, the absolute highest compliment one can pay anything during November and December is that it is Christmassy. For those two months, Christmassy trumps Amazing.
Fabulous went out with the ark, darling, didn’t you know? For this reason I love red in winter. But then, I am a bit of a Christmas-pusher.
Go on, just one snowflake sticker on the window won’t do any harm. It’s Christmassy! Save money across leading lifestyle brands at discountcode.
In winter, clothes should have sleeves Sometimes you have to state the absolutely bleeding obvious for quite a long time before you get heard.
Buy some flat boots that you really like If you are a vain idiot like me, this one purchase will change your life.
Wear a proper coat, not an anorak Sorry, but are you 12? Leopard is the new denim How irritating it is when people affect an aloof faux-bafflement in the face of the modern world.
Ignore capes There, I’ve said it. Be careful with sequins And I don’t just mean about not letting them ping off and fall all over the floor, although that is an issue.
Wear red To me, the absolute highest compliment one can pay anything during November and December is that it is Christmassy. Topics Fashion.
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Sexy Dresses for Women, Mini Club Dresses different sizes, designs, cuts 